Thursday, November 1


so hiba has been great lately.

i realized the other day that i cannot even remember the last time she had a full hand-shaking-falling-to-the-ground-kicking-screaming-hyperventilating meltdown. and i really can't think of many little meltdowns that she has had recently. and that is something that i have not been able to say for a long time.

i think being at easter seals as has a lot to do with it. her day is relatively scheduled; she has plenty of time to play with friends and interact with people, but also has lots of time to be by herself and swing if she needs it; she has one-on-one time to work on being flexible with plans, following others' directions, and bending "the rules". and because of this, i think the level of anxiety that she has in life has dropped dramatically. so she still doesn't love it when we change dinner plans or she skips a bath on her bath schedule, but she is able to with little fits and low anxiety, because so much of her life is structured now.

there are still things that we are constantly working on - staying on task, not worrying about everyone else following the rules, not putting everything in her mouth - but i think that's how life is going to look for us. we will find her help where she needs it and constantly be helping her to figure out how she can best cope with living life in this chaotic world. and for right now, that is working well.

which, actually, stresses me out. because in a few short months (eek!!), we will have to make some pretty big decisions about where she will be going to school next year, what services we want for her, and all that good stuff. and from an outside perspective, she looks like she is doing great. because she is doing great. but i think it's because of the services and structure that she is constantly getting that she is doing great. take that away and i would bet a million bucks that it would be back to meltdowns and anxious eyes. so i'm just nervous about having to ask for things that it doesn't look like she needs. i'm worried that she has made so much "progress" this year that she won't get the help she needs next year. i'm worried that since she is fitting in so well with her regular class that she won't get the individualized attention that i think is helping her so much this year. i've read on other autism blogs that progress is such a double edged sword - it's great to see, but at the same time it's often because of services provided, services that could be taken away once progress is made. so while i am glad to see her doing so well, it also makes me nervous.

the good news is that hiba is at a great school right now, one that has teachers and administration who really know her and who have seen her over the months and who will be advocates for us when we transition to public school next year. they will be able to see the progress she has made and know, much better than me, how that relates to the services and how it relates to her growing and learning. i think a lot of times, i don't give her enough credit for things she can handle because i don't want to stress her out. so i'm glad that we have a good team on our side for when this transition will happen.

so for now, i'll focus on the good. hiba loves school. she talks about her friends. i see her playing with, not always just next to, peers. she loves her teachers. she thrives on the structure of her days. she is less anxious. she is getting more flexible. and those are all good things.

1 comment:

Hannah said...

I know every day isn't perfect, but it's pretty cool to read this a few months out from your June posts. Thanks God that Hiba is getting what she needs and thriving!