Friday, September 14


being hiba's mom is exhausting.

i mean, i'm sure that being anyone's mom is exhausting. being matthias' mom is exhausting. but with hiba, it is extra exhausting.

one of the reasons is because of all the rules. she has rules for everything. every. little. thing. and it is really hard to follow them (not that i always do, but i try when i can) and it's exhausting to hear about them. i'm sure it's just as crazy for her, having all these rules in her head all the time. but, i think she likes it too - it gives structure to the chaos.

for example, she can't put her pink sparkly shoes on, because they have shoelaces, and whoever puts on shoes has to buckle or tie them and she can't tie them, so she can't put them on.

or, whoever raises their hand first can drive to church. and if you do not raise your hand, you do not drive.

when you play with the dollhouse, rose goes in her bedroom and boys cannot be in her bedroom because that is what it says and you cannot change it.

the bath calendar on the fridge tells you when to take a bath. if you want to take a bath a different day, you have to put it on the bath calendar.

if your peaches are touching your mashed potatoes, you cannot eat them because it is yucky and different food cannot touch each other.

when someone goes to bed, you have to let them be in bed and covered before you turn the light of. if you turn the light of too soon, they can't see their covers and then they will never be covered.

if you play hide and seek, the person seeking can't start counting until the person hiding is already hid. otherwise they won't have enough time to hide.

if she gets dressed by herself, when she comes out of her room, i have to close my eyes and then when she makes a "click" sound with her tongue, i can open them, but then i have to cover my eyes until she say "surprise!". and if i skip a step, we start over. 

and it goes on and on and on and on. there are rules about clothes, rules about food, rules about talking, rules about playing, rules about sleeping, rules about baths, rules about....well, you get the point. sometimes it's cute, sometimes it's funny, and sometimes it's just exhausting. controlling the chaos of the world is a tough thing to have to do. sometimes i can see the anxiety in her face, having to follow all the rules and having to communicate all rules to others. and other times, she loves it and i can see that the rules calm her.

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