i have come to the realization that "baby weight" is not an appropriate term for extra weight that i have, now that my youngest child is 3. which is unfortunate, because i really like excuses. but, nope - can't call it baby weight anymore. once it is more than was there after the baby was born in addition to being 3 years later, it's just called weight.

so, i've decided that something needs to be done. at one point in my life, i characterized myself as an athlete. in my mind, i am still that way. still active, still exercising, etc. but in reality, i like to watch tv and i LOVE potato chips. which, is ok, as long as it is coupled with something besides those two things. and lately, it just hasn't been.

so this week, i started using MyFitnessPal on my phone. and i may be slightly obsessed with it. which is a good thing i guess. i'm hoping that it will get me back into the habit of eating healthy things, eating less snacks, making my calories count, and not just eating for the sake of eating. and in the few short days, i've learned a few things.

-you know how people tell you that when you are hungry that you can just drink a glass of water and most of the time that will help, especially if it is just during the day, not at a meal time? yeah. that is a lie. it just makes me realize that water is not nearly as tasty as chips.

-i have never wanted junk food more in my entire life than in the last three days. i can smell french fries from a mile away. and no matter what i tell myself, bell peppers just don't taste quite as good.

-one hershey's kiss has 22 calories. which means 15 hershey's kisses have 330 calories. walking from my desk to heather's desk, where the kisses are, 15 times a day does not burn 330 calories. this adds up quite quickly.


-i will skip snacks all morning so that i can have ranch dressing on my salads. and i will never be convinced that any sort of lighter, vinaigrette type salad dressing is "just as good, but in a different way".

-drinks, other than water, have a lot of calories. some are good, like juice for breakfast, but mostly they just take up the calories at a really fast rate. i mean, i knew this, but it's alarming to actually have to put it on my phone and watch the calories shoot up.

-i am much less likely to sit on the couch all evening and watch tv if i can't snack and drink a beer. for the first time in a long time, clothes have been promptly hung up, the dishwasher has been emptied and refilled each day, and we have had homemade dinner at home, each day. granted, "each day" is four days, but it's a start.

-i spend a lot of money on fast food. it's disgusting. that is going to stop.

-it is possible to figure out how much extra exercise i need to do in a given day in order to have a dr. pepper with lunch. i may have done this. only once though. so far.

hopefully this motivation will last, and i'll start being more healthy. obviously, i want to lose some weight, but mostly i want to get back into the good habits of eating good food, not just eating because i am bored, being more active, and being more organized in life. so far it's working - 4 days down, a lifetime to go. 

it's beginning to look a lot like christmas

well, it seems like christmas season is in full swing at our house. now, if only i would get around to shopping and/or even planning what gifts people are getting, we'd be set. there's always next week, right?

anyway, we put up the christmas decorations early this year, and i like them. jason and i put up the stockings and tree when the kids were in bed and they were sooooo excited and mesmerized when they woke up the next morning. hiba keeps telling me that she is trying to be really good until christmas so that santa will put good presents in her stocking. and at this point, i am completely fine with her thinking that's how it works.

our advent calendar. which i have totally not been keeping up with, but it looks cute.

hiba has also somehow learned all of the words to "santa clause is coming to town", which she sings to us on a regular basis. like every ten minutes. this has brought the whole santa issue to the surface, which i have so far successfully avoided. last night, she was singing, "he sees you when you're sleeping, he knows when you're awake....hey mom, where is santa when he sees you? how does that work?". uhhhh. i answered something like, "well, what do you think?", to which she replied, "he's probably in his house". ok, sure. we'll go with that. and then she went back to singing.

and another great story about hiba and santa - i asked her if she has been good or bad and if she thought she would get good or bad things in her stocking.
hiba: well, a little of both. so i'll probably get good and bad things. i think i will get a new magic wand, and a real beer, and....
me: wait, what? did you say beer?
hiba: (giggling) yeah, because i said i would be getting good and bad things.

this and that

hiba is learning to read. jason is such a good teacher to her. he is super patient and she gets so excited when she figures out new words. she gets pretty focused, as you can see.

we went to a princess birthday party a few weekends ago. hiba absolute loved it. well, maybe that is not entirely true. we did have a mini-meltdown when playing on the swing set was not part of the outdoor agenda, followed by a little bit of stress due to the idea of having tea, even if it is not real tea, because real tea is hot and she doesn't like hot things, and if it is not real tea, she doesn't want it because it is a tea party, but she doesn't like tea. so she had some water.
all in all, a fun party, hiba loved dressing up, and had a fun time.

while hiba and i were at the party, jason took thing 2 to get a haircut. his first haircut, in fact. after seeing the before and after pictures, i am thinking we should have done this awhile ago.

here's mr. crazy hair....

and here's the finished product! he is so stinkin' cute!!

jason and i enjoyed a night out at the annual rugby banquet. it's so fun to see everyone dressed up and acting semi-classy.

and jason won the team m.v.p. my husband is awesome.

we decorated the tree with the kiddos - matthias and hiba did their best to remember exactly which ornaments they each put on, which is now followed up with a detailed conversation about it each morning. "who put the angel on? who put the snowman on? who did the music? noooooooo, I did it.". i don't particularly remember which ones i put, and definitely don't remember which ones anyone else hung up, so it usually ends with matthias huffing exasperatingly at my lack of memory skills. it's a fun way to start each day.

one of the kids' favorite activities is "play sleeping". which is especially fun when they start this game at 9 a.m. on saturday mornings because they are tired, since they chose to wake up at 5:30 a.m. instead of "real sleeping".

hiba loves drawing. i'm not sure what the picture is, but she is super cute, so there ya go.

jason's youngest brother, tom, recently came back home after some time away. i made fish tacos, a huge amount of guacamole (which ended up not being too much, thanks to my guacamole eating skills), and we ate, hung out, and played settlers. it was fun to see him and great to have him back home.

jason and his "little" brothers.

and i leave you with this. gangsta hiba.

choices

i know i'm a little late on the thanksgiving posts, but it's still november, so i am in the clear. right? ok, good.

so this year, i am thankful for choices. i think a lot of times i dwell on what i don't love about my life at a particular moment in time. but when i step back and look, i realize i am only dwelling on the negative because i have a genuine choice or opportunity to go a different direction. those choices may not always be realistic or possible in the moment, but they are there.

i am thankful that jason has a job that provided us with the choice for me to work or not. i am thankful that i found a job that i like and had the opportunity to make a choice of working or not.

i am thankful for the choices of doctors that we have for hiba. i am thankful that we were able to make the choice to get her tested, to have her evaluated, and for the resources that made that all possible.

i am thankful that i can choose where i want to live. i am thankful that, even though i don't love everything about the house we have, it is because we have the choice to look at other houses. i am thankful that i can choose to run the heater at night or use a big down comforter. i am thankful that i can choose which warm pjs to put on my kids. i am thankful that i can choose if we want to have them share a room or have their own rooms. i am thankful that i can choose which house project i want to do first.

i am thankful that we can choose how to save our money. not just how to spend our money, because there is a lot of room to make fun choices there as well. but how to save it, as well. i am thankful that we have dreams and ideas of things to do, things that will create memories and a fun life for us and our kids, and that we get to choose which of those to pursue at a certain time.

i am thankful that we can choose what treatment options we want for hiba. i am thankful that we live in a place that has so many different options available to choose from. i am thankful that we have the ability to choose where she goes, what she needs, and how we think we can help her best.

i am thankful that i get to choose how to give our time and money. sometimes it seems overwhelming, all of the good things we want to support. but i am so thankful that we have the time and money to help support some things and that we have to make the choices about who and what we support. i am thankful for the thoughtfulness and conversations that those choices bring, and the way they help me look at my life and see what is important to me.

i'm sure there are a lot more choices that i make everyday, without even realizing how lucky i am to have to make those choices. there are the obvious things like what food to eat, what clothes to wear, how high to have the heater on in the car, if i want to go out to lunch or not, what tv show i want to watch. but i am also thankful for the less obvious choices. like realizing that i get to choose to pay for our sewer line instead of going on vacation, but i don't have to choose between paying that and eating. i get to choose to keep our crv, even though i don't like it, but i don't have to choose between walking and riding a bus. i get to choose to be content in our house right now even though there are more exciting choices that we may get to make down the road - choices that will take work and may seem annoying, but that are choices that so many people don't get to make.

now the challenge is to continue to be thankful for those choices. to continue to be content with what i have, when i have it, and realize how blessed i am, even when i have to choose between two things that i really want. most of the time those are not two things that i need, but things that i want. choices of leisure is not something that i want to take for granted, and something that i often do. so i am thankful for all the choices in my life and hope to continue to focus on the fact that i have choices, not the fact that i don't always get everything that i want.

thanksgivning recap

we had a great thanksgiving break. so much to be thankful for right now, and hopefully that will come soon in another post. with matthias being sick at the beginning of the week, i got sort of an extended break, even if i did have to work on wednesday. jason had the whole day off thursday, and then only had to work friday night, so we got a lot of family time, a lot of relaxing time, and a lot of fun time.

thursday morning kicked off with watching the macy's parade and cooking up a storm, since we spend wednesday night out with friends instead of actually getting ready for thanksgiving. totally worth it though. and everything got cooked in plenty of time.

the parade was a big hit

making a thanksgiving card - a picture of mommy and the pool, the two things she is thankful for.

we had thanksgiving meal with jason's family, which is always fun and there is always so. much. food. we still have enough leftovers to feed a small village.

beating up aunt lizzie

tryptophan strikes again

the rest of the weekend was spent doing little things around the house, raking leaves, cleaning, watching football, things like that. it's nice to have time to get those things done and still have time to relax.

saturday, matt and ashley - two of our best friends from the barnabas days - came to visit. it was so fun to see them and catch up on life.

love these people!

breakfast of champions. yes, that is bacon in the bloody mary.