but she looks so normal....

*the following post was written a few weeks ago, at the beginning of this journey. it's taken a while to work through the information and be ready to share this part of our life. but here goes...*

so hiba has high functioning autism. what does this mean? well, that's a good questions.

what it doesn't mean:

it doesn't mean she will stop talking. it doesn't mean that she'll start spinning all the time. it doesn't mean she doesn't like being around people. it doesn't mean she has an intellectual disability. it doesn't mean she has major behavior problems. it doesn't mean she can't make friends. it doesn't mean she is a brat.

what it does mean (for hiba):

it does mean that her brian processes information differently than yours or mine (unless you also have autism. then she processes it pretty close to the same way). it does mean that she does not like sarcasm. it does mean that transitions, big or little, are hard for her. it does me that she needs to know "the plan" and what is happening next. it does mean that unexpected changes cause anxiety. it does mean that she has difficulty verbalizing frustrations right away. it does mean that she has some outbursts and meltdowns when things don't go the way she thinks they should go. it does mean she talks really loudly a lot of times. it does me that she has some sensory issues. it does mean she has a hard time realizing that others have thoughts and feelings that are different than hers. it does mean she has a hard time knowing how to relate to peers her own age and how to play reciprocally with them. 

but it also means:

it means she has excellent attention to detail. it means that she has very high intellegence. it means that she soaks up information and knowledge about things that are interesting to her. it means that she is a very loyal friend. 

and outside of her autism, hiba is still smart, funny, goofy, loves music, loves to dance, loves to hug, loves to laugh, loves people, and cares so much about others. autism does not mean that those things will change. 

and honestly, we don't know exactly what it means. we know what books say. we know what websites say. we know what doctors say. but they don't know hiba. and we don't know what she will be like in a year. or five years. or even next week. we do know that therapy will be helpful in helping her learn social behaviors, help her cope with transitions and learn to be flexible, work on sensory integration, and help with anxiety. early intervention is key and we've started this early in her life. so maybe autism won't be a huge factor. but maybe it will be. but either way, hiba is hiba. and always will be.