Monday, January 2

happy 2012, friends.

it's that time of year. new years resolution time. the time of year when we look back and see all of the things we sucked at last year and swear we'll change them. the time of year when we publicly admit all of our faults and come up with elaborate plans to fix them. the time of year when we make long lists of goals and things we'll start doing.


i made a list last year. and i actually did pretty well. at least on the published list. i didn't keep up with everything i wanted to, but it wasn't a failure. now the list i found in a notebook the other day....well, let's just say it wasn't a complete failure, but i wouldn't call it anywhere close to a success either.

throughout the year, i've thought of lots of things i want to do. most have to do with doing things with hiba and matthias, or projects around the house, or starting new family traditions. but i've realized that most of the things i think i need to start are not really realistic at this point in my life. my kids are little. my patience is thin. my extra time and energy are non-existent. this is not the time of my life for grand projects. this is the time of my life for survival.

so forget about all that stuff. 2012 is about me. not about lists that i want to complete, but about ways i want to grow. i have three. i think they are simple enough, doable, and are habits that i want to establish now.

be a better friend. 

sometimes i think i am an awful friend. sometimes i know i am an awful friend. i'm just really bad about keeping in touch with people, making those little phone calls, actually doing things to reach out to people. i have a lot of nice ideas in my head - emails i should write, cards i should send, lunches i should have, dinners i should make, playdates i should arrange, care packages i should send. but i don't. partly because i think of these things when i'm driving or working or other times when i obviously can't do anything. but partly just because i have a hard time with it.

so this year i want to be intentional about being a better friend. i don't have specifics, like a number of emails or phone calls i need to make each week, but i want to be intentional about using my free time to connect with people. real people, not the cast of mad men.


for real. and regularly. i was last year, for quite a while. pair that with eating well (which i do a relatively good job at most of the time) and i was feeling pretty good about myself. and working out really was good for my soul. but, the gym we were going to changed the childcare hours and it just wasn't working anymore. so i stopped.

but i'm back at it. i'm starting with a workout dvd at home because then i have no excuse not to. and i want to make this a part of life this year. i think jason and i have done a good job of making healthier choices a natural part of our lives and i want exercise to be like that for me as well.

figure out what i want to be when i grow up. 

last year, i had plans to go back to school. that obviously didn't happen and don't know if it will. i realized that my kids are just too little for me to be gone from them that much. and although i wouldn't put being a stay at home mom at the top of my "favorite things ever" list, i've seen this year that it is at the top of my kids' "favorite things ever" list. so what's the rush?

i love having a part-time job and i know that has been good for me. but it's still not in an area that i really want to work full-time in, which still leaves me with no idea what i want to be when i grow up. i am leaning more and more away from homeschool, which means that in a few short years, it'll be just me.

i don't want to rush into going back to school or go back just because i don't want to do something else. so i'm taking this year - and i will probably try to make myself take the whole year - to figure out what i want to be. i'm not real sure how i'm going to figure this one out - so if you have any ideas or magic books that give you all of life's answers, feel free to pass those this way.

so there you have it. my goals for this year. i'm excited to see what's ahead. 

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