a month down the road

so here we are, one month later. so here's an update on where i am currently. 

first, i am thankful. i am thankful for the love and support of friends and family. i am thankful, as i hear stories of people who have lived their life this way for years without knowing, that we do have answers. i am thankful that we such easy access to services that will help hiba and our family. i am thankful that God has a plan and that He has let me see some of it so i am not so stressed out.

and then, i'm overwhelmed. a month down this road, i am realizing that it is a loooooong road. and i am realizing that we are at the very beginning. we have filled out the paperwork. we have gotten hiba signed up for pre-school and therapies. which is a great start, but that's it - it's just a start. immediately, we've got intake meetings, plans to write, assessments to do. and that's just for this year. then we've got this first year of pre-school, therapy, groups. and then we've got next year. and the year after. and this year isn't going to fix everything for those next years. hopefully this year will help build good habits, ease anxiety, etc., etc., etc., but - this thing is forever. and a month into the journey, that is starting to really sink in.

a lot of times i feel like i'm living someone elses life. as much as i talk about this diagnosis or blog about it or whatever, anytime that i am actually doing something with it - like filling out paperwork, reading about high functioning autism, setting up therapy, making phone calls - it's like i am someone else talking about someone else. surely this is not me and my daughter, right?

oh, but it is. and that realization is getting harder to swallow as time goes on, i think. maybe it's finally just becoming real. either way, it's a very odd feeling when i am actively doing things to help hiba.  

i don't know if hiba's particularities have increased in the last month, or if i am just more aware of them. i don't know if she knows what is going on and is almost "living up to our expectations", or if i'm just more aware of the fits she throws. i don't know if she is all of a sudden a much pickier eater, or if i am just making all the wrong foods. but either way, this month has been exhausting. jason pointed out that one thing he was not prepared for as far as parenting goes is how every single thing is such a big deal. like we say to hiba or matthias "go get your shoes", and instead of just doing it, it is either really exciting or really annoying or something. just a big reaction. and everything, from the kids perspective, is really dramatic (or so it seems to us).

well, that's kind of how i have felt this month. every time i tell hiba something and she doesn't respond calmly, i cringe and get ready for a fight. every time she throws a fit about something, it's emotionally trying to me because i am trying to a) get her to stop throwing a fit, b) keep myself from throwing a fit, and c) figure out if her fit is her being a four-year-old or her being a four-year-old with high functioning autism. and i'm trying to do all those things in about 3.2 seconds. every time i try to make a plan, whether it's an outing, errands, dinner, whatever - i ask myself how this is going to go for hiba, what things do i need to think about to minimize stress for her. and that is getting so. very. exhausting.

i'm also seeing my shortcomings - a lot. and i don't say this so that people will tell me what a great mom i am or how i'm perfect for hiba or anything like that. (but you can go ahead and say those things anyway. ha.) i just have seen how short my temper is, how selfish i am with my time and my desires, how much i really want things to go my way, how i have not been as kind to hiba as i should have at times even when i thought there might be something different about her, how i don't have the energy to love both my kids as much as they should be loved, how i don't have energy to love my husband as much as he should be loved. and i know that is a bit dramatic - but, i have seen bits of all of those shortcomings over the last month, more than i have seen them in the past. i think part of it is coupled with being overwhelmed and part of it is coupled with this being a new forever, a new reality of the way our life will be. i have seen how much patience and intentionality it will take parent hiba, and frankly, some moments i just do not think i have that.

and then i've seen a lot of grace. i see how God is gracious in the amount of love he has given hiba, matthias, and jason. i see how things have and are continuing to work out for us. i see our friends loving us and loving her. i see how God gives me the strength when i need it and the rest that i need as well, as long as i remember to ask for it. last saturday was a hard day. i can't exactly put my finger on it, but it was just tough. jason was working in the afternoon and i was absolutely dreading the evening. but then, hiba, matthias, and i all took naps till about 4:30 p.m., had a great time at dinner at chick-fil-a, the kids ran around and played nicely on the play set till after 7, and then were super sweet and cooperative for baths and bedtime. and there's been a lot of times like that - where i'm just at the end of my rope and then i look up and grace is right in front of me.

as far as day to day life goes, it's really about the same as it was a month ago. the kids are still in daycare. i'm still working. jason is still working. we still go to the pool. jason still plays rugby. we still go to church. i still go out with friends. the kids still love having playdates. life just goes on. we're kind of stalled as far as services go - we have signed up for what we need and are just waiting for august to get here, which is when hiba will start at easter seals. so we haven't really started doing anything differently. in the meantime, we're just waiting and living life. looking at us from the outside, we probably don't look much different than we did on may 30. and in a lot of ways, life is just the same. hiba is still herself, we are still our family, day-to-day life goes relatively the same. i keep saying the only thing that has changed is that now we just have a little more information. but, oh. how much that "little" piece of information has made such a big difference.

Our Future (Big News)

Note: This is an email we sent out earlier this week.

Greetings from the hot, hot summer of Bethlehem! It's been a busy summer, but we're enjoying it. Paidia is continuing to plan for programs in the Fall, finding land to build the high ropes course, and gearing up for our annual carnival. We're also enjoying spending time with friends - hanging out, have bbqs, and swimming. Hiba is growing every day and is so much fun right now. Matthias is also growing every day, as is Sarah's belly - that's not as much fun. But we are really looking forward to his arrival, now less than two months away!

In our last email, we asked you to pray for us as we think about our plans for the future. Thank you for your prayers. We have decided to move back to the US at the end of December. There were a lot of factors that went into making this decision - the ability to get visas, our roles at Paidia, and some family issues being the main factors. After a lot of prayer and counsel from others, we really feel a peace about this decision and believe it is the right next step for us.

For Paidia, this means that we will have to hire or find a replacement for Jason before December. Current staff will take over a number of his duties, but we are on the look out for someone with experiential learning experience who has a desire to live and work in Bethlehem for a time. Obviously this will be a huge change for the organization, but we believe that it is now in a position to continue to thrive in the face of these changes. In addition, Jason will continue to help support Paidia in a consultive and (perhaps) a fundraising/advocacy role. This is something that will be further defined later.

We will be moving to Little Rock, AR sometime at the end of December. Jason will be looking for job over the next few months and hopefully find something before we move back. So if you hear of anything - let us know. :-) Sarah is planning on staying home with our two kids and will continue her work with Paidia as the Volunteer Coordinator from the US. She will continue to develop the program and work mostly with marketing it and recruiting volunteers.

This move is exciting, sad, and nerve-wracking, all at the same time. We are excited beyond words to live near our families again. We are very sad to be moving away from our friends and loved ones here in Palestine. We are also nervous about how we will adjust to living in the US and to more structured work environments. There are some feelings of failure, and of course, wondering if we are really hearing God correctly. I (Jason) have had to stop writing this a couple of times as I feel the tears well up in the midst of these conflicting emotions, please pray for peace and comfort.

We would like to thank you so much for your consistent support, both in prayer and finances, while we have been in Bethlehem. We have been so blessed and well taken care of while we have lived here. We have been continually amazed at the way God has provided for us and trust that He will continue to do so.

While we will be done with our work in Bethlehem at the end of the year, we ask that those of you who support us financially on a regular basis consider continuing to support us financially through the end of February. While we hope that Jason will find a job before or as soon as we move back, we would like a chance to get our feet under us while we transition. Please know that we do not want to put pressure on you and will understand and be blessed by whatever decision you make. If you will commit to supporting us through the end of February, please let us know.

Please continue to pray for us as we finish up here and transition to life back in the US. Specifically, please pray for:

-Energy and enthusiasm for our work with Paida as we come to the end of our time.
-A safe and easy birth/delivery for Matthias and Sarah
-Wisdom and guidance when making decisions about jobs, housing, etc.
-Unity as we have a lot decisions ahead of us - big and small - and will have to deal with different issues that come with moving and starting over in a new place.
-Pray that we won't idealize what life in the US will be like so that we can enjoy the rest of our time here and have realistic expectations of the struggles ahead of us.
-Our friends and "family" here, that we will enjoy the last couple of months that we have with them. Pray that we will all stay in touch and not grow apart because of the distance that will be between us.

-Our mental state. There is a lot to think and feel during all these changes. Please pray that God will comfort and support us.

Thank you again for all of the love, support, and prayers that you have given us over the past three years. We have been so blessed to have such a strong team of people behind us as we have lived and worked in Palestine.

God bless,

Jason, Sarah, Hiba, and Matthias

P.S. If you have an questions or just want to talk about this stuff, please feel free to call or write and we will do as much as we can to communicate openly and honestly.

So, we just got back from a trip to the US and a lot of people made comments to us that we don't update our blog anymore. So here we go. We'll really try to write more often and keep everyone up-to-date on what is going on in our lives and stories that you may or may not find interesting. So, here is an update of things that have happened since our last post:

-We survived the winter with not too much complaining. Or at least Jason didn't complain much.

-We enjoyed a month-long visit from Marty, Jason's brother. It was fun to see him and show him our lives.

-We celebrated Hiba's first birthday. We had a fun party with lots of our friends and a few of hers.

-We got to go to the beach and the zoo with some of our Palestinian friends while they had passes into Israel for Easter.

-We survived a visit by the Pope to Bethlehem. Surviving meaning dealing with all the road closures, etc. that came with his visit. I had every intention of making it to Manger Square to see him, but it was really hot the day he came, so I didn't.

-We made it out of the country with no problems to go home at the end of May for Sarah's brother's wedding.

-We enjoyed a great, but fast, visit to the US. Two weeks is not enough time to see everyone we wanted to see. We did manage to eat a lot of great food and visit Wal-Mart several times though.

-We survived two loooong plane rides with Hiba, who is probably the world's best traveler. She is wonderful and we actually even had a little bit of fun with her on the planes.

-We picked up another housemate (Sarah's sister, Rachel) for the summer while we were in the US.

-We got into the country with practically no problems and are gearing up for the busy, busy summer.

-We found a new house and will be moving at the beginning of next week.

I think that about covers the highlights. So, we'll write more soon now that you're all caught up on our life.

farewell to the motherland

we leave on friday. by this point, i am actually really ready to go home. it's been a great visit, but two month is a long time to live out of a suitcase and travel continuously with a baby. we've hit wal-mart and are all stocked up on food, clothes, and other random stuff which should last us until june. our bags are packed (well, almost) and all we have to do is play a few more games of settlers and get to the airport.

so here are some highlights from the last two months:
-breakfasts made for us by my dad
-breakfasts made for us by the kind folks at Cathy's Corner
-Christmas with the fams
-seeing hiba with her grandparents, aunts and uncles
-visiting tons of family members
-our first visit to real europe (istanbul doesn't count, right?)
-ice storm 2009 (ok, maybe not a highlight...)
-mexican food and laughing with christa
-a weekend in indy
-having lots of people to love hiba and play with her so that i could take naps or just have a break.
-catching up with old friends
-shufflebowl with the brocks
-sleeping in past 10 a.m. on multiple occasions
-more food than i could have imagined eating
-football watching and hot-tubbing with the lawsons
-watching lost
-a night away with jason in san antonio and going to my first nba game
-shopping at walmart, target and old navy
-hugs from people that we love

all in all, a great trip. and we'll be back here soon. in the meantime, we'll try to keep the blog updated a bit more with all of our really cool stories about our awesome lives.

a little update

well, we are back in the US for a while. we'll be here until feb. 13. it's been good to be here - we have gotten a ton of rest, had the opportunity to see some of our best friends, spend a lot of time with our families, eaten lots of good food. i (sarah) am not so ready to go back to palestine, but i guess i still have a little over a month to get there.

we did not do a good job about letting people know ahead of time when we would be here, so it's been more about visiting family. it's been so fun to see hiba play with her grandparents, aunts and uncles. i really hope that we will live close to them some day so she can do that more often.

we're traveling a lot while we're here. in 8 weeks, we will hit siloam, little rock, dallas, austin, indianapolis, and grand rapids. hiba is such a trooper, being drug around everywherre and meeting tons of new people. we hope that will continue. it's good to see people and catch up with friends. it's tireing, but completely worth it.

the situation in gaza has been on our mind a lot. we don't know anyone who lives there, but we have friends who have family there. it has been hard to be here with everything going on there. there isn't much else we could do if we were in bethlehem anyway. please pray that the killing will stop. pray for peace.

Ramadan Kareem

Ramadan Kareem! That's the traditional Ramadan greeting here. Well, things have slowed down a bit for us. Here is a quick update on life as we know it:

-The settlers haven't come back too many times since the prayer service. I don't know what their new plan of attack is, but I'm sure they aren't gone for good. Praise God that they haven't interfered with any more of Paidia's work, but please continue to pray for the whole situation.

- Paidia is taking a break from most of the programs because it is Ramadan. It's a good time to take a breath and plan a little.

-Jason is playing rugby with the Beit Jala Lions. He leaves Friday for a 10 day trip to Cyprus. He loves it, Sarah tolerates it (with a smile, of course).

-Sarah is still working part time and being a mom full time. It's quite a fun job.

-Hiba is still very cute and growing every day. She is officially a US citizen, as we finally had an appointment to get her passport.

-Ramadan = time change, so it gets dark at 6ish. The good news is it starts getting cool around 3 or 3:30, which is making the days much more pleasant. The bad news is Jason and I want to go to bed at like 7:30 every night because it's dark and Hiba's in bed...and then we realize it's 7:30.

-And now - here is Hiba in all of her cuteness. You can see more pictures of her here, here, here, here, and here. Or become my friend on Facebook (if you're lucky...)

At the beach in Tel Aviv

Pretty in Pink

She eats real food now...well, sort of.

Life Takes Over

Who knew that running an NGO, having a child, and being unwillingly drafted into a political showdown in the Middle East could be this time-consuming? In order to catch people up on what has been going on (all both of you who still check this blog, thanks mom and Steph) I'd like to fill you in on the above mentioned items: Hiba, Paidia, and the settlers.

Hiba: I'm going to start with her, because I like her the most of the three. I never imagined that I could get so much enjoyment from spending time with someone who never talks to me, only occasionally recognizes me, and constantly pukes on me. I often find myself trying to leave the office early, skip out on social obligations, etc just so I can spend time with Hiba, and she doesn't even know the difference! I know that a lot of parents feel this way about their children, but I really think that she is the most beautiful, strong, and intelligent 3.5 month old that has ever occupied the planet. Seriously, check out these pictures.

Look at that personality! Those beautiful blue eyes! Her smile! Sorry moms and dads of other children, it's been decided . . . mine is the best.

Paidia: We've just completed summer camps, and while this is technically the second summer that we have held camps, this is the first summer that we have done independent summer camps, without going through another organization. Let me tell you, that is very different. The most importance difference was recruiting kids to be a part of camp, which is more work than you might think. Simply getting our name out there for the community to be aware of was more effort than I imagined. But, after all is said and done, we did give about 60 kids the chance to be a part of one of the coolest camps that Palestine has seen. A number of people from here and from the states contributed money to the camp effort, and for that we are very thankful. There are some kids who got to attend camp that would have spent the week waiting for their parents to get home from work if y'all hadn't stepped up. Thank you very, very much.

Settlers: Now this is where this update really gets long. On May 15, a group of right-wing Israeli's descended upon an abandoned army base that directly borders Paidia's Jack Forrest Adventure Gardens. The group's stated purpose was to start a new Jewish settlement on the land, because they wanted to prevent the Palestinians from building a hospital for children with disabilities (the land is under the jurisdiction of the Israeli Army, but is owned by the Municipality of Beit Sahour, the town we live in). A number of Palestinians and internationals (including the Piston family and Paidia employees and volunteers) gathered in the are to see what the Israeli Army would do. After all, there were signs posted on the road leading to the area that inform Israeli citizens that their presence is illegal in the area (since it is a Palestinian town). Eventually, the settlers left that day, but they promised to come back.

Who wouldn't want this guy as a neighbor?

They have come back over a dozen times since that initial foray into our lives, and they show no signs of stopping. They have stated their intentions to start a settlement in a number of right-wing websites and newspapers, and thus far, little has been done to stop them. Each time they come, the settlers spray paint the base with racist and nationalist graffiti, hang some Israeli and right-wing flags, and leave. Each time, we paint over the graffiti with pictures and sometimes silly things, remove the flags, and we leave.

So far, we have been unable to discern the intentions of the authorities in the midst of all this. The military that shows up to the site every time the settlers come are basically just there to protect the settlers (even though they are the ones carrying guns anyway) and regularly give us conflicting answers to lie to us outright when we ask them about what they are going to do. The army and the Israeli civil authority continue to say that they are not going to allow the settlement to be built, but that is something that can easily change if the political winds change.

The last encounter we had with settlers was particularly disturbing. Some of us were painting over graffiti from the week before when a group of about 70 teenagers came onto the site, they started shouting at us to leave, that the land was only for Jews, and threw at least one paintbrush and a rock at some people who ignored them and continued to paint. The soldiers watched. Rather than risking confrontation or injury, we decided to abandon our painting project. The group of settlers spent the night at the site, despite the fact that the soldiers present told us the teenagers were not allowed to be there.

A settler shouting at a Paidia volunteer.

If the settlers succeed in establishing a settlement at this location, Paidia's Adventure Gardens, the Municipal park, and the children's hospital that Cure International wants to build here are all finished. Even now, we have noticed fewer families coming to our free climb because they are afraid of settlers and soldiers. I really don't know what will happen next. I wish I could have faith in the Israeli government and army to do the right thing, but I am far from convinced that they will.

God Bless,
Jason

P.S. If you are interested in learning more about the issue of settlements in the West Bank, the links below contain useful information.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Israeli_settlement

http://www.btselem.org/English/Settlements/

we're still here

so this update is a little overdue. sorry about that. we'll try to post more often now that we have something to post about.

hiba is growing every day. she is now a little over two months. she is a very happy baby - always smiling, hardly ever crying, loves being around people, and in the last few days has become very vocal. it's like she's just discovered she can make loud noises, not just "coos". so cute. we are having tons of fun with her. her latest accomplishments include sleeping through the night (that's actually not so new, thanks to the miracle blanket), holding her head steady when we hold her up up on our shoulders, lifting her head while on her stomach (although she hates tummy time...but if she's laying on jason, she'll hold her head up), saying "gaa" when she's not actually just swallowing spit-up while trying to talk, and yesterday jason heard her say "ba". basically, she's a genius.

other than hiba, our lives are more of the same as ever. i (sarah) go back to work on monday. i'm only working part time and i'll take hiba with me, so it will be interesting to see how that goes. paidia has been pretty busy this summer, between planning for summer camps (which start next month), finishing up the spring programs, trying to keep settlers away, and planning for next fall. we're both taking arabic lessons, which are going well. i realized i need to get serious about learning arabic, because otherwise hiba and jason will be able to talk and plot together without me understanding.

well, that's a brief update on our lives. here are the links to some photo albums of hiba. i hope you enjoy them!

Some more of Hiba

More Hiba

Hiba Michelle

And so it goes

I am sitting on my sofa as I type this blog. My parents in the next room resting from last night (none of us slept much) and my beautiful daughter in my arms. She is sleeping, which is apparently in her top five favorite activities along with eating, burping, spitting up, and waste elimination. I assume that none of you are all that interested in my words, and you would rather see pictures, so here are a few.

I forgot Hiba's 6th favorite pastime, sticking her tongue out at everything she sees.

Momma, right after we got home with Hiba for the first time.

All three of us together. Hiba's not really down with the whole picture thing yet.

This was in the hospital. She is trying to nurse my finger.

So, we are now parents. I am trying to start Hiba off on the right foot by watching some Spurs highlights and listening to good music (Bob Dylan is playing right now). So far she is not impressed, but I guess we'll have plenty of time to get her pointed in the right direction.

Merry Christmas from Bethlehem

Bethlehem is decorated and ready for Christmas. Tourists are coming every day to see the birthplace of Jesus. Children are out of school for the holidays and are enjoying window shopping and Christmas candy. Christmas carols are played from shops and can be heard all evening long as you drive through town. Santa, or Baba Noel (Father Christmas), is all around, passing out candy and trinkets to children. Families are together as people have time off of work, school, and university. It is a very happy season, as people are enjoying themselves and seem to forget for a moment about the hardships of their lives.

This has been an especially busy holiday season in Bethlehem this year because the Muslim feast of Eid il Adha and Christmas fall at almost exactly the same time of year. Eid il Adha is a feast of sacrifice, where Muslim families sacrifice a goat to ask forgiveness for their sins. Each family also must provide a goat to a poorer family, as an example of sacrificial giving. The feast comes at the end of the Hajj, the pilgrimage to Mecca that is used as a way to win favor with Allah. Wednesday was the first day of the feast and it ends on Saturday.

It is very interesting to see how this year everyone in Bethlehem is celebrating the forgiveness of their sins. The Christian families are using this time to remember the birth of Jesus and how his coming to earth provided us with a way to be saved. The Muslim families are using this time to celebrate the forgiveness of their sins through the sacrifice that they performed. However, this forgiveness is temporary, as it must be granted year after year. What an opportunity we as followers of Jesus have been given to use this season to share the unconditional love and forgiveness that God offers each of us through the death and resurrection of Jesus.

Please pray for the people of Bethlehem this Christmas.

Pray for the tourists who come and see the lives of the Palestinians. Pray that they will see that there is a Church here that needs to be loved and encouraged. Pray that they will see that there are Muslims who need to know the love of Jesus.

Pray for the Christians who live here. Pray that they will be encouraged during this season. Pray that they will be lights to their Muslim neighbors.

Pray for the Muslims who live here. Pray that they will know the love of Jesus and that they will turn to him for forgiveness and unconditional acceptance. Pray that seeds of hope will be planted in their hearts as they see and participate in the Christmas celebrations.

Pray for all who live in this land. Pray that the peace that Jesus brought with his birth will be known in the hearts of all who come to Bethlehem this Christmas.

The News

1. We are having a girl. Or at least, there is a 99.9% chance we are having a girl. She will be here in April, inshalla.

2. Our memory chip for our PS2 is corrupted and won't save or load games. This means any time I want to play Dance Dance Revolution (which has been pretty often lately), I have to start a whole new game and all of my awesome stats are lost. Sad day.

3. Work is going well for both of us. Or at least for me it is, and I think it is for Jason as well.

4. Yesterday, it was hot and sunny. Today, it is cool, cloudy, and smells like rain. This may mean it will be difficult to find ice cream in the near future.

5. We've been having kids from the House of Hope over each week for dinner. Week 1 was Sheda and Kais, week 2 was Hiba and Aya. This week we're taking a break and probably having Nabil and Mhammad next week. It's so fun to hang out with them again and they love it.

just life

so, life is back in full-swing. it is weird and nice to be back here. it's weird that it feels so much like home, but it's also nice. it's weird that it feels so normal to me, our daily life, but it's also really nice. i've been trying to think of something to post about, but not much exciting happens in our life, so i haven't. last year, we had tons of stories at this time. stories about the kids, stories about the culture, stories about things that happen every day that seemed so out of the ordinary to us. but now, it's just our life. and which i find it cool and interesting, i don't feel like a lot of other people will.

a typical day for me goes like this. i get up around 7, eat breakfast, ride our scooter to work, and work till 1. at work, i talk to people who come to the bible college, i answer emails, i have tea. after work, i eat lunch and usually lounge around for an hour or so before arabic classes. then i drag myself down to arabic lessons and am confused for an hour, learning to write what still seems to me like a secret code that i don't have the decoder to. then sometimes i'll go to the store or the bakery or the butcher to get stuff for dinner, sometimes i'll go get some ice-cream, then i make dinner, hang out with jason, maybe go visit some people, maybe go to a coffee shop, then i go to bed, and start over the next morning. i guess it does make it that much more interesting that all of this goes on in palestine, a third-world country where i don't speak the language. but even that isn't that crazy to me anymore.

we do still see things that we think are funny or odd. especially when we first got back. but even four weeks later, it just kind of has settled into life. things that were huge adventures last year, like grocery shopping or trying to find places, have become routine. it's still not nearly as easy and comfortable as it is for me the US, but it's a lot closer than i expected it to be.

so what has happened...well, we have our apartment mostly set up. i keep meaning to take pictures. we still need a bed, but i think we're getting that tomorrow. we didn't have to buy hardly anything, which was a huge blessing. people just keep giving us stuff. of course, beggars can't be choosers, so we have a bit of a wicker theme going on in the living room, which is not my first choice, but it's like we live on an island, so that's fun. we are buying a car, which i'm super excited about because it means i don't have to drive the scooter around everywhere now. which has been fun and all, but i'm about done with it. it's still nice when we go to jerusalem and don't have to wait in line at stoplights, but driving in bethlehem scares me and i'm excited to have a car protecting me from the crazy drivers. we're making friends and renewing friendships. the people at our church in jerusalem have been super welcoming since we've been back, which has been a huge blessing to us. we're meeting a lot of arabs as well and finding more ways to become involved in life here. so that's about it. our life in a nutshell. so until something exciting happens...i'll be here, just living life.

oh, and also, we're having a baby.

The Headlines

This is a little update we just sent ot our support list. I'm to lazy to write an origanal post, but here's the headlines from the last few weeks.

The last few weeks have been quite a blur, complete with flurries of activity, many "see you laters" and a few goodbyes (for now) with our House of Hope family. The children will return to their homes for summer break on Friday and Sarah will leave early that morning to return stateside. It's hard to believe that these 10 months we've spent in Palestine are almost over, but it actually is true.

So much has happened in the last few weeks that we will have to just give you the highlights (and lowlights). Please don't expect any great words of wisdom concerning our time here, they won't be ready until we are able to rest and reflect. Without further ado, here are the highlights.

Light of the World (Formerly Hiba Amru Charitable Fund) Benefit Dinner
Last Saturday night, at 7pm, the first annual Light of the World Foundation benefit dinner took place at the Bethlehem Hotel. Sarah took the lead in organizing and staging this dinner in order to benefit the newly established Light of the World Foundation, which is the newest (more official) incarnation of the Hiba Amru Charitable Fund, which we have been working to establish in order to help a young girl from Hebron to receive a Kidney transplant.

We were able to raise about 3400 shekels during the course of the dinner, and though it wasn't quite the financial windfall we were hoping for, it did provide some valuable experience regarding how to organize and run such an event, and some much-needed exposure in the community. Sarah expects that this will become at least an annual event, and we may (if you are lucky) stage a similar event stateside if the opportunity arises.

The Adventure Gardens
Construction on Paidia's Adventure Gardens has finally begun. Although the beginning of the project was fraught with delays, we have now completed the structure of the 40ft climbing tower that now stands on what was formerly a Jordanian and (later) an Israeli military base. We hope to begin holding summer camps by the first week in July, and therefore must complete construction of the low elements, at least one side of the climbing tower, and all our safety checks by that time.

This project has been an adventure, and most every minute that Jason is not at the House of Hope, he is working on the tower in Beit Sahour. The last week and a half of his time here will be very busy, as he is planning for the summer, trying to finish strong at the House of Hope, and contribute to the construction project at Paidia. A new wrinkle was thrown into this project this morning, when Jason woke up with severe back pain, preventing him from working at the site for the immediate future.

Computer Theft
Unfortunately, all the positive excitement was apparently not enough. Sunday night, when we decided to spend the night with some friends of ours in Beit Sahour, our room was broken into from our balcony door. Fortunately, the thieves left our money, passports, camera, (as well as the money that we raised at the Foundation dinner) in our room. They did, however, manage to make off with our laptop computer and a DVD player that we were borrowing from a friend. The government situation being what it is, there is really no reason to alert the local police, and we realize that, barring God's intervention, we should not expect to get the things back.

We have already been able to make contact with someone in order to replace our computer on the cheap, but our backup CD's were also in the computer case, meaning that many of our pictures, documents, and other personal files are now gone. Although we are frustrated by this turn of events, we are thankful that we lost only things, and that God closed the eyes of the thieves so that they did not take the other things in the room.

Another sign of God's grace in the midst of frustration was Sarah's comment that she made to me (Jason) last night as we talked about the theft. "I hope that whoever stole the computer was a poor person who has a family to feed, and they are able to get the money they need from it." My response was far less generous, but Sarah's merciful spirit shone through clearly at a time of crisis, and I thank God for such an incredible blessing.

Financial Support
We are not entirely sure exactly what our support situation is right now, because we were keeping track of our financials using spreadsheets on our laptop. However, we should be able to rebuild our records within a few days (and with some help from you, Eric) and we'll know more once we are stateside.

Prayer Requests
Some of these may seem a bit disconnected from the rest of the e-mail, but these requests are really what are on our hearts and lips, and we ask you to join with us in talking to our loving Father about these concerns.

Please pray:
For the safety and development of the children over their summer break
That we will not forget too much Arabic during the two months in the US
For safe travel and protection from jet lag
For Jason's back pain to lessen so that he can return to work on the construction project
For the House of Hope, Paidia, and Light of the World to grow and to glorify God in their work
That God will provide the money that we need for the coming year

crunch time

i have 12 days left here. jason has one week more than that. it's weird to be almost done. i keep saying that i only have X days/weeks left, but it doesn't really feel like that.

i'm really gonna miss the kids. iyad didn't come back after this last break and ahmud was sent home, so we've already gotten to see what life will be like without some of them in our lives. jason's a lot sadder about it than me, but i think if any of the girls hadn't come back, i would understand more. it will be a big shock to be able to wake up and not have to worry about if asma is up running around, if baraa fell out of bed, if aya is invading someone elses bed after she peed in her own. some of that will be nice. i hope it will be relaxing. but i'll still miss it.

so jason and i are really busy right now. i kind of like it because it keeps me distracted and gives me things to do. but i also get overwhelmed and do things like write on my blog or watch the office instead of being productive. i'm trying to wrap up our work at the house of hope, working on a benefit dinner for light of the world that is this saturday, figure out what's going home and what's staying here, and still have energy to take care of the kids. jason's working two pretty much full-time jobs. they're building the climbing wall and the low ropes elements for paidia this week. he's really excited, but also really exhausted.

we're trying to figure out when we're gonna get to see people this summer, so if you'll be near siloam or little rock, let us know and we'll try to find a time. if you're not close to those places, buy us a plane ticket and we'll come see you.

i think next year i'm going to be working at bethlehem bible college. i'm excited about it and glad i have something that i know i'm coming back to. besides cooking and cleaning for jason, of course.

i'm home in 18 days and jason follows a week later.

it's been awhile...

so, we're still alive and well. we're just lazy about updating and keeping in touch with people. we really do love you all, i promise.

life has been going. we don't have many exciting stories or crazy adventures. it's mostly just real life. we work, we eat, we sleep, we hang out with friends. it's kind of nice. i don't feel like a tourist as much anymore. it's not always as fun as it was at first, but it's also less frustrating a lot of times.

work is going as well. there have been a few bumps in the road lately, but things are smoother now. we had three people go to the hospital in three days, which added quite a bit of stress. the worst was baraa, who fell of the slide and hit her head. she fell about six and a half feet. but the good news is she is fine. she probably had a concussion (i say probably because the hospital was awful and didn't really tell us anything helpful, but that's another story) and a broken nose, but nothing else. no one actually saw her fall, but the way she landed it looked like she hit her head first. i still don't know how she didn't shatter her skull. or her legs or elbows or whatever absorbed the blow. i know angels were all around her. anyway, ismael also broke his hand from a fall and it's unclear how it happened. that was two days after baraa, so it brought even more stress. but...God is good and things are getting back to normal and the accidents forced us to talk about issues that needed to be talked about. so it's smoother now. not smooth, but smoother.

last weekend, the kids went home for their monthly break. it was needed, i think by all of us, but defiantly by me and jason. we got to just lay low for a few days and on sunday and monday spent some time at the dead sea and ein gedi national park. it was really fun to float in the dead sea. we just floated. we also found a mud pit and got to have mud baths for free, which was much better than paying a bunch of money for them. i'm not convinced that i'd pay tons and tons of money for dead sea products, but my skin is very soft and exfoliated, so maybe it's not a big hoax. ein gedi was beautiful. it's a wildlife preserve in the desert, but there are a few spring and a few waterfalls, so there's lots of greenery in certain places. we took a three-and-a-half hour hike with some girls we met at the hostel we stayed at. we saw lots of rocks, lots of sand, some ibex, some hyrax, two springs, some flowers, wadi david, and david's waterfall. ein gedi is the place where david hid from saul when saul was trying to kill him. it's a good place to hang out if you're in the desert. the waterfall area looks like a tropical paradise. it's really green and has tons of plants and obviously water, and then you walk a few hundred meters and you're back to the dry, dry desert. it was a good little vacation and i'm excited to know that it's close by for when weekend getaways next year.

we are now in the process of raising support for next year. it's kind of stressful. sometimes i don't think i'm cut out for this missionary stuff. please pray for us that we will have faith that God will provide for our needs and that it won't be a huge distraction for us (especially me). if you are not on our support list and want to know about our support raising, email us and we'll let you know how you can help.

well, that's our life in a nutshell. we'll try to start posting again. also, we forgot our camera this weekend, so no pictures of ein gedi. but rachel, one of the girls we hiked with, is supposed to email me some when she's done traveling in a month or so. don't hold your breath or anything, but we'll have pictures one day.

Questions and Answers

We have received tons of e-mails, comments, and messages since we started talking about relocation to the Bethlehem area. There are three questions that keep coming up that I want to take the time to answer all together, so that Sarah and I do not type the same thing over and over to answer all the e-mails. Not that we are anything but incredibly grateful to be receiving all the communication, well you understand I'm sure.

Without further ado, I'd like to present the top three questions asked of the Pollacks over the last week!!

#3: How long are you staying?
In short, we don't know. We have committed to staying Aug/September of 2008, but that is really not going to enough time to really get the Paidia operation up and going or to implement our church planting/growth ideas. In all likelihood, we will be here for 1.5-3 more years, but we really don't know at this point.

We're also not really trying to figure it out yet, we are just moving here. If we avoid setting a return date, we are more free psychologically and emotionally to really make ourselves at home and put down roots here; which will necessary both for our sanity and for us to have an meaningful witness to the community.

#2:Was it hard to decide?
Yes, absolutely. As soon as the deal was done, and I had agreed in principle to work for Paidia, buyer's remorse starting setting in. Neither of us was expecting it to hit so hard, so when we found ourselves awake a 1:30 in the morning, talking about all manner of things that we will miss about living in the US.

However, the way that God has been clearing out the barriers that we have erected by the truckload, and the way that he has filled us both with love and excitement for this place, clearly displays that He is pointing us in this direction. Plus, when it gets down to it. We have some pretty amazing opportunities if we stay here, and while we have cool opportunities in the US, we're the only ones available to do it. Thank God.

#1 Will you be raising support again?
Short answer. Yes, we will be raising support again. Paidia is a very new, very small organization, and so it cannot afford to pay me as much as it would cost to live here. As far as the details, we don't know yet. We are researching what our costs are going to be, finding out how much Paidia will pay us, and then establish a monthly support goal. After that, we'll start hittin' you up, don't you worry.

P.S. If you haven't visited the Paidia website yet, check it out. Also watch the video. It really illustrates why this kind of program is so needed in this community.

Life!

We have been trying to get the word out about our future plans. If you haven't heard, we are going to be staying in the Bethlehem area for the near future. We will finish up at the House of Hope somewhere around June 20, return to the US for a month or two (Thanks Bishops) and then returning to start our new lives here. Here are some more details about what we will be doing.

The company that I (jason) will be working for is called Paidia International Development. It is an experiential learning organization that is focused on children and youth in the Bethlehem area (Check out the website for details on the organization). Our focus is the development of young people, focusing on social, moral, emotional, and metnal growth. We hope to use the model of Recreation-Education-Moblization to create change in this community by helping future community leaders.

My role will be quite large in this organization, as I will be one of two full time staff members (the other is the Director). My first focus will be developing curriculum and programs for the 7-13 year old age group. As we move toward our launch, I will also train local employees to facilitate, oversee the technical aspects of the climbing wall and (eventually) the high ropes course.

Within a year, the current director is hoping to relocate to the States to focus on development (fund raising) this will mean that I will become the director of the Middle East program, overseeing the entire operation in Bethlehem. So long as I prove my mettle in the next year.

This is an incredibly exciting opportunity, and it fits very nicely with many of the vision I have for the future. It will also give us an opportunity to stay in the area longer, thus allowing us further build relationships and share the gospel. Once Sarah and I have been able to process our thoughts on this front, we also want to share our ideas with you, for your comments and critiques.

In the two weeks that we spent seriously considering the idea of staying here. God opened up many opportunities for ministry. We met a man who has converted from Islam and who lives quite close to the House of Hope, already in the last month I felt like we have been able to become friends, and I hope to encourage he and other muslim converts who are unable to engage fully in the Christian community in Bethlehem for a variety of reasons.

About two weeks ago, the director of the choir that Sarah sings in offered her the use of 8 violins, some children sized, if there was some way she could use them. The day before, she had mentioned to me the idea of teaching music in one of the refugee camps that we had visited (and now have connections in, including a music teacher). The violins were going to be used to (get this) teach lessons to children in refugee camps, but the woman who had brought them was unable to stay in the country, and wanted them to be put to a good use. Don't know for sure that anything will come of this, but I wouldn't be surprised.

Basically, God is opening door after door in this area. Sarah and spent some time crying together last night, after I officially committed to the position at Paidia. Knowing that we miss and love all of you, but we are also incredibly excited to see what the future brings. Please keep us in your prayers.

christmas in bethlehem

merry christmas! i miss you.

christmas here is funny. it really doesn't seem like christmas. it has been a nice change of pace from the over-materialized christmas' in america. decorations didn't go up until mid-december. people don't do a lot of christmas shopping. carols are not belted out twenty-four hours from every store you pass. but it's been nice.

saturday we got to go to two christmas eve services, even though it was really christmas eve eve. one was at our church in jerusalem and one was at our church in bethlehem. hannah got to come with us (yea for hannah being here!!) and experience both of our churches. while we were at the one in jerusalem, she realized that the pastor of the church is the dad of a guy she met in D.C. this summer and had given me and jason their info and told us we should find the church. we never followed up on that, but God led us there anyway. good thing that He doesn't let us ruin all of his neat little plans.

yesterday, jason, hannah and i made a christmas eve feast for some of the workers and residents at the house of hope. there were about 16 people all together. we made chicken marinated in italian dressing, mashed potatoes, gravy, rice, salad, pecan pie, apple pie. it was delicious, if i do say so myself. and there was no garlic in the entire meal. that was a rule. it was a really nice time to get to hang out with the blind old ladies, fida and lulu outside of work, and the other guys that live here. we sang christmas carols after we ate, so it felt a little like a christmas feast, but still not too much.

for christmas eve, we went up to manger square. i mean, where else would you go in bethlehem for christmas? we didn't get into the church, because you had to have a ticket to the midnight mass to get in, which sell out about a year in advance. but there were thousands of people out and we met up with some friends from our church in jerusalem, so it was a nice time. it felt more like a big new years eve party than christmas eve though. there was a group from spain performing and they were kind of a bunch of primadonnas and not very good and not very engaging. rumor also has it that they wouldn't let other groups, like local choirs, use their sound system, so there were no choirs singing christmas carols like there were supposed to be. but despite the lack of christmas things, it was a fun evening. we got to hang out with our police friend, tamir (the one who's wedding we crashed) and hang out with john, our favorite shop keeper. it was also nice to just see foreigners in bethlehem and to see the palestinians out having a good time and forgetting for a moment about the situation that they live in. even though most were muslims and don't understand christmas, they were getting joy from the birth of Christ, even if they did not know it.

today hannah and i went to the church of the nativity. while in the area where the manger was, we got to stand in on a mass, which was very nice. it made the visit more contemplative and less about seeing an old building that doesn't move me very much. it was nice to be there more as pilgrims and less as tourists and to just sit and think about the incarnation of our God.
so that sums up our christmas in bethlehem 2006. we were going to go to a dinner at our church in jerusalem, but i'm getting the flu, so we canceled that plan. i think we're having a lord of the rings marathon instead.

i hope that you all had a merry christmas and that the peace of Christ is in your hearts.

September's Letter

Here is a copy of the e-mail we sent out to friends and family yesterday. Please let us know if you would like to be on our mailing list.

Hello friends and family! God bless you all.

Fitting In

We are on the verge of completing our 3rd week with the children and yesterday was the one month anniversary of our arrival in Bethlehem. It would be accurate to say that this adventure now feels like real life. We no longer get confused and think we are on vacation. All the things that accompany normal life (being easily irritated by minor things, not getting enough sleep, taking joy in getting to sleep in, etc) have started to return as well. Praise the Lord!

One of our chief frustrations at this point, is figuring out the culture of the House of Hope. To us, it seems that the communication and conflict resolution styles that are used are sometimes ineffective. This has caused us (especially Jason) to be occasionally discouraged. The children really are wonderful, but (just as in most cases) working and living in an institution can be emotionally tiring.

All 12 of the children who will be living at Beit 'Araja (House of Hope) this school year have now arrived. For those of you who are keeping track, we have seven boys (Forest, Mhamad, Nabil, Kais, Ismael, Ahmed, and Eyad) and five girls (Asma, Shedha, Hiba, Aya, and Razan). Each letter we want to send you pictures and descriptions of one boy and one girl so that you can pray specifically for that child. We believe that prayer for the children can have an incredible impact on their lives, please join us in this vital endeavor.

Profiles


Ahmed is 11 years old and has lived at Beit 'Araja for around 4 years. His family is from Hebron, and he also has a sister who used to live in the boarding section here. Ahmed enjoys riding bicycles, playing catch, and lots and lots of attention. He does not enjoy school or sitting still for long periods of time. Ahmed has autism and we are working with his family and the doctor to establish the appropriate amount of medication. Since he has been here, he has had a difficult transition and he may have to return home for a time due to behavior issues.

Please Pray:
For the leaders at Beit 'Araja to exercise wisdom in deciding Ahmed's future.
That Ahmed would receive the appropriate medication.
For the teachers and house parents to care for Ahmed in the best possible way.
For Ahmed to know Jesus more completely all the time.

Asma is nine years old and has downs syndrome. This is her second year at Beit 'Araja. She loves to play futbol, ride on the back of bikes, play the "guitar" and sing. She is usually very loving and affectionate and loves to give hugs and snuggle. She can also be very stubborn and throws fits when she does not get her way or feels that she is not getting attention. She can be very mischievous, especially during nap time and early in the morning.

Please pray:
That Asma will know how much we love her, and more importantly how much Jesus loves her.
That she will display her obedient heart more often.
For the workers, that we will praise her for the positive things she does so that mischief will not be her preferred source of attention.

Prayer Requests

We are so thankful for all of your prayers for us over the last few weeks. We know that they are making a difference and ask that you continue to pray for us. Here are some specific request that we have this time around:

Continue to pray for our language acquisition.
Pray for the House of Hope; pray for unity of the workers so that we can effectively minister to the residents and the community around us.
Pray for the children as they go home this weekend (Thursday, Sept. 28) that their visits will go well and that they will not be too homesick when they come back.
Pray that God and people around us will be encouraging to us, and that frustration with Beit 'Araja will not be overwhelming.
Pray for Muslims during Ramadan, that they will be aware of their need for Jesus.

Money Stuff

A financial update: As of our latest calculations, we have raised $10,430 out of a desired $13,627. We trust that God will provide for our financial needs over this year. We are so grateful to all of you who have given us money and we praise God for His provision. If you wish to give financially, send a check to Every Nation Ministries with Bethlehem Ministry on the memo line. The mailing address is PO Box 94564 North Little Rock, AR 72190.

In Christ,
Sarah and Jason